Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I (HEART) Segues

My 4 year old son woke up yesterday morning and told me that he was too sick to go to school.  I knew he was faking but was a little hesitant to call his bluff since the LAST time I told him to suck it up I ended up with vomit all over me.  I’m also pretty sure my kid is going to become a politician when he’s older.  When he sensed my hesitancy for letting him stay home, this conversation occurred:

DMo:  Mom, I’m sick.
Me:  You don’t look very sick; let me check your forehead.
DMo: Mommy, you’re beautiful.  Your hair is long and golden like Rapunzel.  
Me:  Oh, thank you honey!  Maybe you SHOULD stay home.

Um, WTF just happened?!  Did he just use his toddler superpowers to get his way?  I mean, my hair IS long and golden- just take a look at all of that flowing yellowness under the tiara.  STILL. I’m pretty sure my kid has got a lot of winking and pointing/baby kissing in his future.

Then there’s my OTHER kid.

When we went to Disneyworld, we let the kids pick out a few toys.  My youngest was IMMEDIATELY drawn to a Buzz Lightyear toy that quite frankly looks exactly like the rest of the 237 Buzz Lightyears in our house.  This one was special though.  THIS one can be pulled apart into two pieces.  MMo does not care at all about the top portion, he ONLY wants the legs.  We have tried numerous times to fashion the torso/head back on, but MMo will immediately rip it off.  ONLY the legs.  The kid doesn’t want ANY other toys.  Just the legs.  This seems like something I should be concerned with, but I’ll live in my land of denial for a bit longer.  I mean, they aren’t REAL body parts… um… yet… right?

Speaking of creepy, I started P90X today.  

I’ll be honest, I couldn’t finish because I couldn’t stop laughing.  First of all, this guy looks like someone featured on Dateline’s “To catch a predator”.  I’d bet 5 bucks that the vanity plate on his bright yellow Ferrari reads “NICERAQ”.

I walked away to use the bathroom and all I could hear from the other room is “Oh yeah, GET THAT BODY involved.  Breathe, oh yeah, are you feeling it?  Oh that’s gooooood.  Hooo hooo hooooo!  Bring it!  That’s what I WANT TO SEE!”, accompanied by a ton of heavy breathing.  If I didn’t know any better, I would have assumed someone was watching a little Cinemax after 2am.

 And continuing with creepy…

When you have a Google blog, they supply you with analytics on your audience.  One of the items they provide you with are the key words people type in to Google that lead them to your site.  Mine are usually “mom blog”, “bachelor”, etc.  I’d just like to give a little shout out to the 2 people that Googled “will a dead body pose a health risk” and “XXX hot stepmom” and got my site.  Thanks for reading, and um… good luck with your searches.




  1. I love the last part...and no your site has not met my needs for “will a dead body pose a health risk"

  2. I had someone search for "fingernail porn" once. That one still makes me scratch my head...which may or may not qualify as fingernail porn.

  3. Oh girl... I have a running list of horrible things people Google to get to my blog. One of the best is "knife in cl*t knife it tit". The bad part is that they stayed on my site for 12 minutes and looked at 10 pages. People are messed up.