Monday, March 28, 2011

This is ME!

I love my boys.  Like the “if you hurt them, I will rip your head off, sauté it, smother it with onions, and eat it” type of love.  This type of love comes a free set of blinder goggles.  Blinder goggles are awesome; they make EVERYTHING your child does approximately 500 times better than it actually is.  Not that I need them, because my kids are fantastic at anything they do.  So when Jillsmo at Yeah, Good Times tagged me in a meme that required posting drawings- nay, WORKS OF ART- created by my children, of course I jumped all over it.  It would be wrong not to share a talent such as theirs with all of you.
So here are the rules.
  • Ask your child to draw a picture of you.
  • Post the picture on your blog.
  • Call it the ‘This is Me Meme’.
  • Pop over to here and add to the link.
  • Then tag some others
I asked both of my boys to draw a picture of me, but my 2 year old declined.  Why?  Well, he’s 2, which means 9 out of 10 times I ask him to do anything he will do his best Chris Brown impression while screaming “NO” until he’s blue in the face (artists are SO temperamental).

My 5 year old, on the other hand, went right to work.  He asked if I’d sit in the chair next to him so he could get everything just right.  I sat in that chair for what seemed like an eternity.  But hey- you can’t rush art, right?!  I bet Mona Lisa didn’t whine when Leonardo da Vinci painted her portrait.

Mona: Seriously Leo, I have to take a piss.  Do you have any alcohol?
LDV:  Keep it up and I’ll paint on a double chin.

FINALLY, DMo’s masterpiece was complete- I couldn’t wait to see it.  I’m sure the suspense is killing you, too.

Genius, right!?  I mean, it looks just like me!  Well… except for the hair.  My real hair looks more like a flowing molten lava of gold rather than the freaky girl from The Ring.

And my neck isn’t QUITE that long.

Then there’s the whole “no arms” thing.  But you can’t expect people to remember ALL of your limbs when creating your likeness.  HELLO, ever heard of a little something called the VENUS DE MILO?

I know that the rules state that I need to tag others, but I don't want to put the pressure of trying to top this masterpiece on anyone.  That would just be cruel.

I just asked my 2 year old if he was SURE he didn’t want to participate.  He politely declined* so I’ll just post a picture of him instead of his art.

Even when he’s baby roid-raging, he’s still cute.



*My 2 year old wants to kill me, I just know it.  He’s staring at me as I type this.  Please send help.


  1. Seriously. My friend next to me thinks I am a weirdo because I am talking to and laughing at a blog post.

  2. I have teens. I asked my son to draw me and he drew a turd. *sighs*

  3. But look how thin and dainty your ankles are in that drawing! Focus on the positives!

  4. PMuff! Are you still alive, darling?!?! Your eldest has certainly inherited your visual talents.~


  5. Geez-a-loo this was the funniest thing I've read in awhile!!! Awesome!
    P.S. Oxofrd Dictionary just added muffintop, so you're famous!

  6. AMo, I agree with BugginWord ... look at those platforms! You know, they are all the rage this Spring with what also looks like those wide leg jeans you're wearing! xo

  7. @hate by "friend", do you mean "mom"? Kidding, I'm sure it was more like "T-Pain".
    @jillsmo you started it! :)
    @dbs I am very aware of the fact that the years my kids think I'm a princess are numbered. It's inevitable that I too will be a turd one day.
    @buggin why thank you for noticing!!! You know what accents ankles? Orange ukuleles!
    @kat I survived! Though he's glaring at me right now... I'm not in the clear.
    @tonya Thank you! I'd like to think I played a small part in Oxford Dictionary's decision, but I'm... you know... sane.
    @K the pants were a last-minute addition. I went to hang the pic up on the fridge and DMo said "WAIT MOMMY! You HAVE NO PANTS!" Phew, crisis averted.

  8. I LOVE the picture. I particularly enjoyed the Ring comparison, even though I'll be having nightmares forever now.

  9. I'm doing this meme, too.

    I LOVE the picture I got.


  10. @Sun Do you know that girl grew up to play "Wanda" on another scary show, "Big Love"?

    @Empress May your children give you the gift of arms. Can't wait to see it.