Friday, March 25, 2011

I’ve got a secret part 2: I declare allegiance to the Klingon Empire.

So as you may have read in my post yesterday, my ex-boyfriend William Shatner and I broke up.  Yes, I’m OK- it’s been a long time coming, we’re just different people now.

The break-up was expected.  Do you know what WASN’T expected?  A little someone I’d like to call “Rurickthedamned2”.  

He is NOT happy with me.

Around 3am last night, my child literally exploded.  From all ends.  It was disgusting and I will leave it at that.  By the time I hosed him/his bed/the walls/the ceiling down (seriously, EXPLODED) and got him back to sleep, I was wide awake.  After tossing and turning for a half hour, I decided that I’d check to see if my ex-boyfriend William Shatner had sent me a happy birthday message.  NO, he did not send me birthday wishes for all who were wondering.  The poor guy, he’s probably still too upset.  BUT… do you know who DID send me a note? 

That’s right- RURICKTHEDAMNED2 (apparently the names Rurickthedamned and Rurickthedamned1 were already taken).

Yesterday, I had posted a link to my blog on William Shatner’s facebook page.  What I DIDN’T know was that the Klingon High Council was watching me.  Here are the emails Mr. TheDamned2 sent to me last night.

Kind Sir (Apparently Klingon princesses are male)
By the order of the Klingon High Council, we demand you terminate your allegiance to James T. Kirk immediately.  Failure to do so will result in your trial.
qoSlIj DatIvjaj

Kind Sir (Seriously dude.  I’m a female.  Look at my long golden flowing locks)
The Klingon Empire insists that you declare allegiance to the Emperor by ramjep. Heed this call.
Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam

Well Rurick.  May I call you Rurick?  I have a few things I need to say to YOU.

First of all.  Thank you SO much for giving me the opportunity to terminate my allegiance BEFORE putting me on trial.  I know you Klingons are a hasty bunch, so I appreciate the chance to consider my options.

Second. DID YOU READ MY BLOG?  My ex-boyfriend William Shatner and I BROKE UP.  I think that qualifies as “terminating my allegiance to James T. Kirk”.

Third.  Not to geek out on you, but I’m pretty sure Klingons and the rest of the galaxy kissed and made up long ago.

I’m going to stop here because… well… this is BY FAR THE NERDIEST THING I’VE EVER WRITTEN.  Just let me know when my trial begins, I’ll need to schedule those days off of work.

I’m sure that this is just an overzealous fan with too much time on his/her hands, but JUST IN CASE…


Sir AMo


  1. Yeah, dude, seriously. The Klingons have been part of the Federation for years now. Although, depending on which vision of the future you look at, they might part ways again at some point.

    Oh. I probably should have prefaced that with "sorry to geek out on you...."

  2. Still laughing. @TheNextMartha

  3. Wow, that guy's a total nerd!

    *hides Next Gen Worf coffee mug*


  4. I've been telling Rurickthedamned2 to get his fucking facts straight!


  5. Ha! That man is scary! I am totally ignorant where Klingons are concerned, but I know scary when I see scary. I've got to go now. Ahhhh!!!

    Oh, before I go...sorry about your break-up. :(

  6. @jillsmo I think I love you.

    @Jennifer I'm glad my break-up at LEAST provided me with a good Klingon story to share!

    @Kat No worries, it's safe here. Let your freak flag fly. :)

    @Rurickthedamned1, THANK YOU. Hope to see you at the trial! XOXO

    @Kelley You're probably better off for not knowing what a Klingon is.

  7. So glad you two broke up you don't need this bullshit!! LOL