Wednesday, January 19, 2011

So this is what death feels like.

Hola, blogpeeps!

Today I took my first step toward this year's Resolution.  No, not the Pajama Jeans- running a half marathon.   I’m fighting a cold (which is I think the 3rd time I’ve caught the exact same cold in a 1 month time span- a special thanks to my little outbreak monkeys who bring these lovely germs home from daycare), but there was no putting this off any longer.

I’ve got two running partners who will be taking this journey with me- one who has run in the past, and one a running novice.  Then you have me.  I have a pretty fast metabolism, so I’ve never exercised to stay thin.  But “thin” does NOT mean “in shape”, people.  If I had to sum up my current condition in one word, it would be “squishy”.

We decided that for our first day, we would alternate every 2 minutes between running and walking.  Sounds easy, right?  Well, it’s not if you’re in squishy condition!  The first 15 minutes was a breeze.  I thought to myself, hey, I’m really going to do this!  Look at me, everybody, I’m a runner!  

Then came the next 15 minutes. 

By the end of minute 30, I began thinking of hitchhiking home.  And I wouldn’t have been picky.   I’m pretty sure if full-size conversion van with no windows and a vanity plate that read “ShagnWagn” pulled over to offer me a ride, I probably would have accepted it.

Luckily, I had two people with me who weren’t going to quit (or ride home with me in the ShagnWagn), so I pushed through it- 2 minutes at a time.  I began cursing (in my head of course, I had no breath to actually speak) at the path if there were any sort of incline.  F&*^&ing hills!!  WTF!!??  Seriously, why can’t you just be a normal f*%(*ing path!!!!!!  #IU% #$*(%( #$)(#$!!!!!!!

But we did it.  Every fiber of my being hurts, but the hardest part is over.  Day 1: complete.  Don’t know how far we ran, but if I had to guess, I’d say about 175 miles.  If you’ll excuse me now, I’m going to go eat an entire pie then pass out for 3-4 hours.




  1. You are wrong, oh squishy one. Death is what you are going to feel like tomorrow.

  2. You were right... Alas, we went again today. I'm just now regaining the feeling in my legs.