I’ll be honest. I HATE reading the news. When I became a parent, something snapped- I could no longer tolerate reading articles regarding the depressing state of the world. BUT... because my job requires that I stay on top of current events, I try to do a daily drive-by through a few news-related websites. This isn't something I enjoy doing, so every now and then I'll skip a few days. Besides, if I wanted a good cry, I'd rather watch the Notebook thank you very much.
My client called this morning. I’ll admit, I wasn’t really listening. There are only so many times I can hear about said client’s daughter’s dance recital/son’s spelling bee trophy/new golf clubs before I want to rip my ears off. Today’s conversation: client tells me about his super fantastic weekend at the zoo with his… whoops… zoned out for a minute....something something about his mother-in-law’s cracked tooth… ooh, Real Housewives of OC is on! Blah blah… the Government is shutting down.
Wait… WHAT? The GOVERNMENT IS SHUTTING DOWN?!
So of course I headed straight to Google to figure out just what the hell happened. Turns out my boy Barack Obama and his congressional posse do not agree on how to spend this fiscal year’s budget, and if they don’t figure it out like, RIGHT NOW, there will be consequences. After reading several articles written for people way smarter than I am, I had only 1 question:
What the eff does this mean?
Good question, self. Here’s the answer broken down Princess-style.
1. All National parks, museums, and monuments will shut down. Did you plan a vacation to our great nation’s capital to see all of the magnificent landmarks within the next couple of weeks? Sucks to be you!
2. Need a passport? TOO BAD.
3. Toxic waste clean-up? Well WHO NEEDS THAT ANYWAY.
4. US Postal Service? You’re cool. So are you, air traffic control and coast guard.
5. Expecting a tax refund check? Don’t hold your breath.
6. How about the pay for Government workers INCLUDING OUR TROOPS? Not looking good. Not cool, Obama/Congress. Not cool.
There are a ton of other things that may or may not be affected, but quite frankly my brain can’t process any more. Let’s face it- I’m just more of a TMZ kind of girl. I like my breaking news stories to have more of a "Lindsay Lohan arrested for sacrificing/eating a Sumatron Tiger" feel than this type of thing. Bottom line is this. Hurry up and settle your shit, Obama and Congress. How about you just scrap both of your proposals and spend the budget on research to populate the country- nay, the WORLD- with Pegasuses (Pegasi? Pegasaurases? Whatever the plural is for ‘Pegasus’). All of our problems would be solved if we co-existed with these majestic beasts. Am I right!!?
That is all for now. It’s time to go watch Tamra from the Real Housewives of OC engage in awkward bathtub relations with her 16 year-old boyfriend.
NOTE: I obviously have no real interest in politics, therefore I have no interest in debating politics. So please do not leave me any creepy serious “Obama and/or congress is the devil” comments or you will be instantly disqualified from receiving a Pegasus.