Tuesday, April 12, 2011

PMuff: The True Hollywood story

I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but I’ve almost reached 100 followers.  Because I am so completely dumbfounded/flattered that anybody is reading this, I’ve decided that I’m going to dedicate an entire post to lucky number 100.  The post may or may not contain actual stories/facts about this person… it really depends on how awesome he/she is.  

After I decided to write a post about someone else, I realized that most of the people reading this blog know very little about ME. So ladies and gentlemen, the story you’ve all been dying to hear…

PMuff: The True Hollywood Story

I was born.

I had a fairly regular childhood despite growing up in Flint, Michigan (the murder capital of the world).

My teen years were… interesting.  I’m pretty sure my parents were continuously riding the fence between keeping me and selling me to the highest bidder. 

I went through some phases.


I went to college.


After college, I moved to the East Coast to follow my dreams...


 ...and by "follow my dreams", I sort of meant "follow a boy".   So yeah... that didn't work out.  

When I moved back to Michigan, I met Prince Muffintop. We got married.

We had a baby.

Prince Muffintop took a job in Ohio, so we moved.

Then we had another baby.

Then Prince Muffintop took a job in Georgia, so we moved there.  Have I ever told you how much I hate moving?

Then I started a blog, and now you're reading it. And for that, I just wanted to say:

There is absolutely no reason for the Boone's Farm bottle right there, I just thought it added a little something.

I'm looking forward to completely making up telling the story of my 100th follower.  So be warned... if you decide to follow me, you've got that to worry about.




  1. I like how you became a muffin after you had a baby. LOL

  2. I love cartoon art. Please adorn PMT with Louboutin thigh high boots soon. It's all the cartoon rage...

  3. Now. How can I ensure that I am #100? Hmm.

  4. Too funny! I love your blog! Great post, congratulations on your almost 100 followers!

  5. You're 8 followers away! I can't wait!

    PS Your life story is the best thing I've read in a while. HILARIOUS

    Sparkles, The Mrs

  6. Just lurking this trip because you posted a comment on another blog about boobs so I had to see for myself what you might have for me to enjoy here on your blog.

    My mother came from Cartersville and my uncle lived in Atlanta with other relatives scattered around Georgia. My older daughter and family live in Canton now.

    I'm in Alabama, near Montgomery which you probably didn't want to know.


  7. Ha! This is so cute! I learned so much about you. I didn't realize you wore denim diapers. Hmmm... BTW, I think we must be near the same age. Your life sounds like mine! I'll be 36 in a week or so. Did I just offend you?

  8. I have followed you now. I'm not #100 - but that's just fine with me. I think I'll hang around anyway.

  9. Okay, I think I was 101 so I'm not the lucky one... Can I have your Boy George Poster?


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  11. You kicked it right outta here, darlin'! 104!! Congratulations! It is completely deserved because you make me smile with. every. single. entry. ^_^
    (I can't read; I had to correct this comment.)

  12. Awwww...loved this.

    And you are living happily ever after, right? xo

  13. There is no phase of your life that isn't an inspiration to me. Promise me that when you get to the golden years you will only wear denim adult diapers. I know after reading this, I won't accept anything less for myself.

  14. Your blog is SO funny. I'm awarding you the Versatile Blogger Award. I really enjoy your humor. To find out more check out my site. http://andweareoffto.blogspot.com/2011/04/my-first-award.html

  15. @c Yeah, that's sort of exactly how it happened, unfortunately.

    @France Will do! The thigh-highs will come into play for THS pt. 2, PMuff becomes a prostitute.

    @Jennifer You missed it! Though I'd still love you to join my gang.

    @Kathy Thank you :)

    @The Mrs. I love when you comment because it reads "The said". And then I laugh.

    @Don Well Don, that is a plethora of information right there! In summary... boobs, Atlanta, Alabama. Got it!

    @Kelley I celebrated the 5th anniversary of my 29th birthday last month, so we're pretty close in age. I pet you rocked a pair of Jordache denim diapers in your day.

    @Lceel Yay! Glad you liked your visit. I apologize in advance for disappointing you.

    @Beth 101 is my FAVORITE number. Boy George poster is yours.

    @Katsidhe Ha- thank you! 104... 107... they're almost the same thing anyway.

    @Desperate If this is my happily ever after, I'd gladly take it. I've got a pretty awesome family. And we all look hot in denim diapers.

    @Heathrobots I think you just came up with an FANTASTIC "as seen on TV" product. *Adult Denim Diapers: Shitting your pants just got fabulous!*

    @Amie Aww, thank you! I will proudly hang this award in my hall of awesomeness.

  16. Sweet Jesus I want a cold bottle of Boone's. Strawberry Hill, I miss you so!

  17. Now that I've learned all about you, I want to be yours forever. I mean you'll be mine forever. I mean . . . yeah, I don't know. But I do love that you're from Flint - that just totally makes you badass - do you know MC Breed? Because he's from Flint. But I believe he's currently residing in Jackson.

  18. when i and 7 of my friends got fired from the bank on the same day, we bought a case of boone's farm and ate leftover holiday candy for about 2 months.

    haven't looked back since.


  19. This is hilarious! Oh, the jean diapers- horrific!

    Now, my question is WHY is there not a princess muffintop button for me to grab? B/c there really needs to be to spread this kind of hilarity.

  20. AMo, I totally agree with Shell ... do it up in PMuff fashion!

  21. LOL at "Mom, what does She Bop mean?" Children of the 80's unite!

  22. What a riot! Glad I stumbled over here! Looking forward to reading more!

  23. God Dammit, I missed the boat.

  24. I laughed...I cried...dude, your story was waaaayyyyyy better than Cats!
    Seriously hilarious!!
    I hate moving too.

  25. @Buggin Only a few more months until that Boones can once again hit your lips.

    @Sun I'll be honest. I thought MC Breed was dead. Whoopsy!

    @Blunt I love you already!

    @Shell and @hollyywood Thank you! I need someone more technically literate than myself to help me figure out how to make a button.

    @Kristen Cyndi Lauper is a lyrical genius.

    @peasoutmama yay! I'm glad you like. :)

    @Chelle Someone who's name rhymes with SmeMextBartha totally rigged the contest!

    @Tonya You managed to compliment me, mention the play Cats and tell me you hate moving. YOU, madam, are AWESOME.

  26. OMG! You are hilarious!! Loved, loved it. My story is freakishly similar ... especially the college years. It must be our Michigan roots. Thanks for the laugh & congrats on you 100 followers... you will have 1000 in no time my friend!!